When I was a child I used to look inside of myself and see a Buddha there. He looked much like me only more serene and of course, more bald. In times of hardship I could always look inward to that serene inner-self and find steadiness. That inner-self always served as a compass, a guide to action and when I was a child that clarion call of duty was clear and loud: Find your home, fulfill your destiny.

As I get older it feels as if more of the responsibility for staying on the path falls on my shoulders. As if, when we are young there are some sort of spiritual training wheels to help us stay on track but at some point, those training wheels, those guides come off and it becomes necessary for us to stay on the path by will.

My inner-Buddha has changed in recent years. With the discovery of La Palma, my inner-Buddha as literally become myself, in La Palma. I remember standing on the rooftop of my favorite hotel in Los Llanos after the last time I returned to La Palma from America. It felt like I had woken up. I remembered the struggle to return to the island from the states. See, you have to understand that once you are on the island it makes perfect since to be on the island. 'What was I thinking!?' I thought to myself on that rooftop upon my last return. 'How could it have been so hard to get back here?!' Well, the truth is that great sacrifice was required. Greater sacrifice still is required if I wish to return. Still, something that happened to me recently, really gave me pause to consider. What is the point of all of this? I don't mean the island, I mean our lives. What are we really trying to accomplish? To work a job, raise a family, buy a house? To what end? The perpetual cycle of existence is not enough. There must be a goal, a dream and that dream must be bigger than ourselves.

Now, as I face what I hope will be a major turning point I again pause to consider. What am I doing? What is this worth? Or more importantly, is this worth the lost time with my children, is this worth failure to form lasting relationships where I am? Am I missing out and/or missing the point? At times like these, I turn to the pictures of myself in La Palma and I remember that this has been my dream for almost as long as I can remember. I think of that serene self perfectly situated and I think: My purpose in life begins here, with understand that comes from heeding my inner-most self, even if no one understands, even if it costs, even if.

My inner-most self, always has a small smile that says 'Everythings gonna be alright. I've seen this movie before. It all works out.' I take much from that. 

Forward!

With Love,
Raja Afrika